Sometimes what God is doing in our lives is not always clear. The way is clouded by shadows and deep valleys. Things happen to us that just don’t seem to fit in with what we believe is God’s plan for us. Why would He allow us to go through these times of hurt and indecision seemingly alone?
C.S. Lewis was one of the greatest Christian writers of our time. He was a bachelor until late in his life when he met Joy Davidman. They married and 3 years later she died of cancer. Watching her die was one of the darkest periods of his life. These events were portrayed in the movie "Shadowlands" He wrote afterwards the book "A Grief Observed" in which he talks about the pain of suffering. In this journal, he documents first the overwhelming sensations of his grief, then his rage and confusion at God. As time passes, he chronicles his return to Christ and his acceptance of a new life, forever shadowed by his wife’s death, but still whole.
Satan is frightened by those who go through such pain and suffering and not knowing the reason why, they continue to serve God. In another book written by C S. Lewis called "The Screwtape Letters" He gives a fictional account of a series of letters written between a junior demon (Wormwood) and his superior (Screwtape). The junior demon had been given the assignment of keeping a man from coming to Christ and was experiencing difficulties. In response to a problem this demon was having the superior wrote back to him the following; "Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of God seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and yet still obeys."
Sometimes in grief and pain we can’t find our Lord, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t there. He is just saying in times of silence. "Trust me" Psalm 23:4 says "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." David knew the Lord was there and would guide him no matter what. Proverbs 3:5-6 says; "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." God has not forsaken you. He is still there. Trust Him!